Hold me to it.

I’m not someone who has ever cared about dieting or starving myself or even working out at all. Aside from once or twice when I’ve tried to “eat right”, I’ve always tried to just be content with my body the way it is. Now I have reached the point where I’m getting out of hand. I’m just not comfortable in my own skin. I can’t do the things I want to do or fit into the clothes I want to wear. I’m so lucky to have a healthy, able body and I want to start taking better care of it. I’m starting to make better choices about eating, and I’m going to try to work out for at least 30 minutes a day-even if I start out just walking. I need to get out of whatever routine I have had going on this past year (and every other year before that) which included stuffing my face with so much food that I feel sick several times a day and then laying in bed watching tv and feeling sorry for myself. I need to get up and start doing things, even if it means confronting some emotional issues I’ve always pushed away.

I’m kind of taking a leap even posting this, because for some reason I’ve always had it in my mind that if I tried to lose weight it had to be some kind of secret. Like if I admitted to anyone that I was trying to lose weight I was admitting that I didn’t like who I was; admitting something that felt shameful. I never wanted to go to a gym or run in my neighborhood during the day (that might still take some time). But this time, I send a big FUCK YOU to anyone judging me for trying to be better. I know its going to be hard to resist eating my comfort foods and laying around all day, but even after a couple of days I feel so much better having made healthier choices. I can do this.